One Year Today

Last year I was really trying to do better with my eating habits.  You know?  More veggies, less bread, less sugar?  You get the idea. 

Well….I felt like I was doing ok…except with the sugar!  I would stop eating sugar…then I had a bad day and wanted ice cream.  or I was in at my moms and we had a family party and we made Ice cream sundaes.  or or  or or!!    there was always an excuse!!

well I decided that couldn’t happen anymore!  so I committed to no sugar for 1 year!  I started that year on June 15th 2013.  It was easy and hard at the same time.   Once I ordered something from a fast food place….oh yah I cant eat this!  so hubby got two meals 🙂  and I went and ordered something else with no sugar.  it got easier as the time went on. And it became a habit to watch closely what I was doing.

I will clarify that I wasn’t extremely strict with things that had sugar in the ingredients, like bbq sauce spaghetti sauce etc…  my goal was to get out of the habit of the things I mentioned before, and all the excuses to have a dessert!   I still ate things like honey and unrefined sugars occasionally. 

So a year has gone by and what has happened?    the number one thing I noticed, and my favorite thing, and the reason I wont be going back to eating white refined sugar?  Is that I don’t have the mood swings like I used to!  I used to be horrible!!  now if something happens like that its not near as bad as it was before and its not near as long!  I am able to “get over it”  super fast!!

I also had fun finding new favorite things as far as “desserts”  like peaches and cream, (or strawberries),  I also had fun finding recipes like sugar and flour free chocolate cake! or my moms famous poor mans cookies with honey instead of sugar, I even made things like ice cream, and candies!  (as a chef its been  fun to create all these things, and experiment with recipes!)

I may eat sugar again… but I will NOT let it become a habit again! 

I recommend it to anyone!!  if you try it let me know how you like it!



The Past Couple of Days…Weeks…Years



Through life we go through journeys, paths, roads, adventures….all of the above? right?   sometimes it feels like this:

  Smooth sailing!  beautiful day!  happy music playing, full tank of gas!
Some days we feel more like this:
    up and down.. tummy turning.. maybe a little dizzy?
some days it more like this:
  Mud hole! Spinning wheels! need help! can the help, help or just watch?  how did I get here? how can I get out? 
Some days it could be like this:
it didn’t make you stuck in the mud hole but the hit sure hurt!  is there permanent damage?  crap! my tire is flat!   delays ahead!
What about days like this!

  cant think because the surrounding area is too dirty and murky!

what about this:
  obviously you cant get through it…well I suppose you could but would that be the best choice?  do you turn around?  
For me the past couple/few years I have been down many of these roads and more!  (not literally!  these are all google images  hehe)!
I have ran into emotional blocks like depression and anger.   I have ran into physical stop signs with issues concerning the goals I am trying to accomplish such as, goal weight, internal issues, and having babies. 
I have come to many closed gates… what did I do?  I got out and opened them!!!  how did I do that?  well sometimes it felt like this:
Cold and windy,  no protection, all alone… yet I made it to the gate and opened it to new adventures, a new path and a new journey!
I have been on a road of learning and education and I has been amazing!  I do not and will never regret it!  the things I have learned and the growth I have made has just been incredible! 
I am not saying I have stopped learning or growing, nor that I will stop studying and putting forth the time and energy to learn the things that I need to!  what I am saying is…. well it reminds me of stair cases like these:
You have a long set of stairs ahead of you!   But with each “few” stairs there is a break!  you start your journey with one step! you get to the top, you get  break, a drink, a reward, an answer…etc…  then begins the next steps!  you still have the steps behind that have brought you here to this point… and you have completed that mission, if you will.  well do you want to stay on that landing?  no thanks!  I’ll keep going! my goal is at the top!  I’ll take that step up the next set of stairs to get me there!
The past couple of weeks (ok it may have been a month by now), I have been on the last few steps toward a landing!  I took each step as it came!  I looked forward to what I needed to accomplish, and I have made it to the landing! 
The past few days I have “recuperated” (for lack of a better word) and I have stretched my calves, gotten a drink, and took a deep breath!  and I am SO ready to begin the next set of stairs!!  I am at the bottom of this set… its just the beginning!  But I will make it to the top no matter the time it takes, no matter the cost (literal and figurative), no matter the pain!   I am not alone!  I will and can do this!
I am so grateful to my husband, my mom, my sisters, my family, my friends and acquaintances and even some strangers!  For your love and support as I learn and grow through this journey!!   
Take the time to live in the moment!  look past the pain to the goal!  When you are focused on the pain, you’re only thinking of yourself… think of those around you! think about those who look to you.  and think of those you’re fighting for!








To the lady ashamed of being pregnant with her fourth

Beautiful! I love this! Happy reading! 🙂

Tales from the Mommy Trenches

I met you in the elevator on my way back from the pediatrician’s office. It was just me and Wren, and you looked at her fondly in her stroller. When the elevator doors opened, you very kindly held the doors open for me. As I clumsily maneuvered the stroller past you, I accidentally ran over your foot. “Don’t worry about it,” you assured me over my profuse apologies. “I have three children myself,” you revealed to me. My eyes traveled to your big belly. There was an awkward pause as I wondered if I could assume she was pregnant. “And I’m expecting my fourth,” you admitted. “Congratulations!,” I tell her. “That is wonderful!” I see the relief spread across her face. “Thank you!” she says, and I could tell she meant it. “You have no idea how many people offer their condolences when they find out this is my fourth…

View original post 641 more words

My Perfect Birth (Preston’s Birth Story)

A good friend of mine recently had her baby! I loved reading this! Hope you will too 🙂

A Cow in the Ocean

The last picture that I took before Preston was born. This is with my niece Aliyah on her birthday. We had hoped that Preston would be a birthday present for her. The last picture that I took before Preston was born. This is with my niece Aliyah on her birthday. We had hoped that Preston would be a birthday present for her.

I’ve been dreaming of writing this post for what seems like forever and now that the time has come I don’t hardly know what to say. Birth rocked my world and changed me forever. It was nothing like what I imagined, it was nothing that I could have ever prepared for, it was truly nothing short of a miracle. One big giant miracle.

Preston was due on the 25th of April. So when I started having some pretty good surges during the first week of march we were concerned. I was watching tv with my mom when I felt the first one. It felt exactly like what I had imagined and prepared for. It started as a crampy feeling…

View original post 1,599 more words

Why I Want to be a Midwife

When I was 7 1/2 years old.  I woke up one morning to a very distinct scent (and one of my favorites) of Hexol.  I had a new baby neice!

When I was 8 years old.  My sister drank castor oil straight from the bottle….a little while later I had a new baby neice!

A few months later I had turned nine.  I woke up to the sound of familiar womens voices, a hallway full of coats, boots and purses,  and… you guessed it!  another baby neice was born!

A few years later, I was 12, I was gone but I new a baby was on the way soon!  when I walked in the house… I had a baby nephew this time!

6 months later.  I was helping my mom sterilize blankets and clothes and boil water…hexol scent floating around… I was listening at the door with my other sisters… then we were invited in… I was a little scared…but I watched another neice enter the world!  this neice was the first and only time I have seen a baby be born.(in real life)  It was unforgettable!

At the time of these births I had no idea i wanted to be a midwive.  I do think they helped the decision once I thought back on them though 🙂   It was only about 7 months ago that I made the decision.

I don’t know if I have already said this in another post, but I have NEVER had regular menstrual cycles!  I realize now that I probably should have looked into doing something about it then…  but I have no regrets. I firmly believe in “seasons of life”, “timing”,  “everything happens for a reason”  all of those types of sayings.  I was not my season, or time, to learn the things I have in the past four years!    so yah…. never been “normal”.  Marriage comes around and I want babies… so I have spend the last four years.  learning, praying, studying, researching, asking, watching  etc etc … about womens health. Specifically reproductive and endocrine systems.  One day(in September of 2013) I received an email from one of my best friends, about a conference thing that had classes on these particular subjects. and it also had classes and information about midwifery.  That was the “lightbulb” I guess you could say.  I wasn’t able to attend the conference. I talked to my husband, told him what I wanted to do. And I even wrote down my goals and desires.  This is what I wrote: 

My main goal is to be a natural and holistic “health care provider” (I don’t really know what the official title would be) for women.  Using whole foods, herbs, and natural sources (essential oils, tinctures etc). Also “alternative” healing such as chakra healing and other emotional clearing processes (a huge part of what I have learned is the emotional link to physical problems).  I want to be able to come to me with any problem, concern or issue they may have.  PCOS, fibroids, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, etc.  I want to be trained in areas that may help these women: massage, reflexology, acupressure, etc. and also a better knowledge of the herbs, salves, tinctures, essential oils.  I also want to be trained in things regarding pregnancy:  hypnobabies, doula, pregnancy nutrition and health, and mainly midwifery. and also postpartum care for mothers and babies. I feel like because of the things I have learned about myself through my own women’s health journey I can help and serve other women.

I do want to give a big disclaimer here and say this: I want to be qualified and trusted in all these areas. I don’t want nor expect it to be something like “oh I have this problem so this will help you!”  or “you need this because it helped me” . to me that is wrong 🙂

I have always felt like I would have my babies at home.  I was born a woman.  Woman have a great power and strength when it comes to having babies!  I have heard stories of old indian and eskimo women just stopping and having their babies and then get on with their lives!  (those were word of mouth stories so you don’t have to trust me on that).  In my studies of anatomy and women…its just a beautiful thing. I just cannot even say how amazing I think it is!

I feel like I have jumped around in this post,  lets try finishing it up this way:

I want to be a midwife so I can serve, encourage, bless and help women.  I want to be a midwife because I want to give women the choices they may not know they have.  I want to be a midwife because I am passionate about health, motherhood, babies and womens choices, and the power (physical, emotional, spiritual) of women!!  I want to be a midwive because if I am helping a women with fertility issues and getting pregnant I would love to have the honor if she chose me to continue the journey to the birth of her baby.  I want to be the kind of midwife I want for myself.  my clients/patients? they will be my friend…forever!   I suppose if you don’t want that type of relationship than don’t choose me as your midwife.  here is my history for those statements.  I HATE being a number!  get in and get done.. and no real interest in the person or problem they have.  I connect with people and talk and laugh and cry with people!  I want a friend!  I will be a friend!  I will love you and those babies till forever!  I wont be a number counter, (is that even a thing?)  you get the idea right?

I want to be a midwife because nothing is more special and beautiful and perfect than birth and a bond of mother and child!


Behold: the two absolutely worst arguments against homeschooling

I suppose you could call me biased because I was homeschooled…But I seriously LOVE this!

The Matt Walsh Blog


Here’s the email I received last week. I was saving it for today, as I’ll be speaking at a homeschool conference tomorrow:

*The subject line of this email was: “Not all public school teachers are the devil.”* 

Hi Matt,

I’ve been a pretty decent fan of some of your writings, and while I don’t always agree I find that you sometimes have an entertaining way of presenting your opinion. Anyway, all due respect, I find myself having a hard time continuing to follow you now that I’ve gone back and read through your views on education.

It doesn’t so much bother me that you seem to be PROUD of your lack of a college education. You seem to be of the lucky few smart enough to get away with having no real education to speak of (congratulations). What I can’t reconcile myself with is your vitriol and hatred for public…

View original post 2,332 more words

Someone FINALLY told me WHY!

I will be the first to admit that I thought the “gluten free” thing was a fad, or a fake thing! I couldn’t understand why if we had been eating wheat for hundreds of years why all of the sudden it was the devil! I thought it was dumb, and just kind of disregarded it. Time went by and I learned some things and I still was hesitant but it made me feel better that “wheat” or “gluten” wasn’t the actual problem but it was the Genetic modifications that were bad the GMO’s (another hot topic!) So I was like “ok that makes sense”! Because hundreds of years ago there was no such thing as GMO and so it was not as harmful! Oh I forgot to mention I would hear things like “You have to go off gluten if you want to get pregnant” or “your not getting pregnant because of gluten”… I don’t mind peoples advice and I know they want to see me have children. (and I am so grateful for the love and support). I had gone off of gluten (not 100% strict but 99%, I wouldn’t check in things like soups and stuff where gluten and flours are hiding, but I eliminated Most gluten), for a few months and I actually noticed a difference in things. I also had heard and seen lots of good things and successes with it… so, I don’t know why I stopped… just stubborn I guess!
SO… last week I had a Live Blood Analysis, from a friend of mine. The blood analysis is so cool! Its amazing what you can tell by a drop of blood! So while looking at my blood she asks if I had made any diet changes recently. I told her that I had not eaten sugar since June, I had been trying to go off gluten but I wasn’t completely, and I told her I was trying to just be healthier over all, you know… get my greens and veggies etc…and she strongly suggested to go all the way gluten free! — I told my mom that and she says “I wont say ‘I told you so'” (hehehehe) she was one of the ones suggesting it. — 🙂 My friend went on to explain what celiac disease is! this is what I understand, correct me if I am wrong 🙂
In your intestine there are little hairs…what you all know from High School Biology is cilia! 🙂 the cilia take the broken down food and absorb into your body the nutrients from your food. She then explained that gluten isn’t the only culprit! It is the biggest culprit because of GMO’s (^ see I was right!) But nightshade veggies and other grains can also cause a problem. The gluten or other things go and stick to the cilia and block it from absorbing nutrients, and it absorbs whole particles of food…then your body says “NO that’s not right!” and you get the allergic reaction!
She also went on about my fertility issues and the link with that! Stresses whether physical (the gluten “allergy”) or emotional, put your body into fight or flight mode. Your adrenals are what controls that. when your body is in fight or flight trying to keep you alive, it is using all your progesterone and turning it into cortisol…therefore your hormones are way out of wack! the more you try to give your body progesterone the more your adrenals use it to convert to cortisol and not the fertility areas where its being needed… vicious cycle! So her advice to me was to go off gluten completely. and to not stress! don’t put your body into fight or flight! If your tired (physically or emotionally) go lay down! listen to your body and don’t over work your adrenals!
I am so incredibly happy to finally know and understand WHY Gluten was so “bad”! I will be going off of ALL grain for about a month, and then I will introduce them one at a time and see how I react and what my digestive system says yes to and what it says no to! I will also be keeping a “journal” on what I eat and how it makes me feel, and what it does to me.
If you are interested here are a few sites that I have found helpful for the adrenal health topic. and
wish me luck on my new adventure and journey to new and better things for my health and for generations to come!